tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-69586240011500672802024-02-06T23:30:16.415-08:00Complex AmeliorationStagnation is Hellfire to the BrainComplex_visionaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16897307456778068879noreply@blogger.comBlogger42125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958624001150067280.post-5339199481881757502019-01-21T17:11:00.000-08:002019-05-12T17:56:41.186-07:00Closure <div style="line-height: 24.0pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
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<span style="text-align: justify;">I'd invited him over so that we could talk— which wasn’t
the only thing that I'd tricked myself into believing. </span><br />
<span style="text-align: justify;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="line-height: 24pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
I'd gone over what it was that I wanted to say to him so
many times that I believed myself to be mentally prepared for his arrival,
but when I greeted him with a hug at the door his scent alone made me shrink.<br />
<br /></div>
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I was reminded of all the times I awoke to find myself in
his bed— him, fast asleep, and me, awake and regretting everything. As we embraced, the words that I'd so neatly placed on the tip of my tongue
scurried to the back of my throat. My lungs wrapped their arms around the words
as if to comfort them, but to no avail.<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 24pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
When he finally let go, he took a step back as if to get a better look
at me. I smiled, ushered him in and asked if he wanted anything to drink. He
said no, but I hurried towards the kitchen anyways, poured myself a glass of
whiskey and hurried back.<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 24pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
He jokingly asked, “You an alcoholic now?” I said,
"No," took a swig from my glass in an attempt to calm down the sad
scene occurring in my throat.<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 24pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
He talked about work and the places he'd recently traveled
to. I listened intently and hated myself for trying to calculate if there was
any chance of my fitting into his life again, but all of his stories seemed so
foreign. Our lives had long since split, but I didn't want to believe it.
That's why I’d invited him over— I wanted to see for myself. I thought maybe
he'd tell me that he’d thought about me while he was overseas or that when he
was in Vegas fucking some other woman, he'd accidentally called her by my
name.<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 24pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
Instead, he told me that he was thinking about moving to
Seattle because he’d gone recently to visit a friend and the cost of living was
great, but most importantly, he felt comfortable there. I smiled and said,
"That's dope," and hated myself for knowing what friend he was
speaking of without him having to say. I knew that he'd met her in DR and that
they'd made a pact to visit each other once they got back to the States. I knew
that he thought her beautiful, because she was—I'd seen pictures of her on his
Instagram. I knew, but said nothing. I figured he'd forgotten that he told me
about her once before and just so happened to have mentioned that she was from
Seattle. He was always good at forcing me to put two-and-two together on my
own.<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 24pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
I began to want <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>to
die before his eyes then maybe he'd see just how much I loved him, but I knew
that such thoughts were foolish and all wrong so instead, after he told me
everything and nothing at all, I hugged him at the door and when he was gone I
deleted his number.<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 24pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
Not long after, I called my best friend, who helped
reassure me that deleting his number was for the best. She said, "You
shouldn't be around anyone that makes you want to die," and I couldn't
argue with that, but I still cried and hoped that he'd call, but he never
calls.<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: 24pt; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
A few weeks later, however, I did receive a text. He’d
addressed me by a nickname that only he calls me by so I knew that it was him—
the last line read," I hope you’re taking care of yourself," and I laughed
until my heart looked up at me like I was insane.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<br />Complex_visionaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16897307456778068879noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958624001150067280.post-4908300817856274052018-07-03T07:03:00.000-07:002018-07-03T07:29:24.032-07:00Love Looked at Sideways Like many, I grew up listening to Lauryn Hill; I would belt out every word like I'd been in and out of love myself; I hadn't, but to some extent, I felt like I had.<br />
<br />
When I was a kid singing Hill's "Ex-Factor," I had no idea what the word reciprocity meant, nor did I know that that's what she was saying when she broke it down in the song ("re-ci-pro-ci-ty")-- I would always just sing gibberish during that part, haha.<br />
<br />
Although I knew that Hill was singing to a lover and talking about a romantic relationship, as a kid, I sang it with my mother and father in mind (as I did with lots of other songs that dealt with love).<br />
<br />
A few months ago, I read a book by Bell Hooks, <i>All About Love: New Visions</i>, and within the book she makes the argument that love does not and cannot exist where there is abuse, neglect and/or mistreatment. She also addresses the fact that to embrace such a definition of love means that a lot of us will be forced to come to terms with the fact that we have not actually received love from those who have claimed to have loved us. Because I am currently in Switzerland and do not have the book with me, I cannot provide direct quotes, but I will insert them when I get a chance.<br />
<br />
Nonetheless, what Bell Hooks stated in her book made sense to me and I began to understand why it sometimes pains me to be around certain people that I love.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
After reading the book, I tossed this idea around in my head for quite some time: In the act of giving and receiving love, there must be care, but care alone is not enough to say that there is love. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
This means, for example, if a parent ensures that their child has food and clean clothes everyday, but also physically and verbally abuses the child, the act of feeding and clothing the child is not enough to say that said parent loves their child. In other words, both the mind and the body must be taken into consideration. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Love can be exhausting work, which is why, if you are giving it in abundance, it is important that you are also receiving it. You will know when love isn't being reciprocated because you will feel exhausted and in extreme cases, you might even feel pain-- physically, mentally or both. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
For example, I once told someone that I love that being around them made me feel like dying. At the time, I wasn't completely sure what I meant by this. All I knew was that I'd done my very best to describe how I was feeling in that moment. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Once we parted ways, the feeling slowly disappeared, but my mind could not stop wondering. Later on, I realized what the feeling was and why it pained me to be around them. The presence of the feeling had to do with old scars that existed within our relationship, but also, I began to realize that we possessed very different love receptors and neither of us could actually give the love that we needed to each other. </div>
<br />
There isn't much that you can do to guarantee that someone will be able to give you the love that you need and, in fact, the kind of love you need often changes depending on what stage of your life you are in. Just think, we struggle to give ourselves the kind of love we need, and we are thought to know ourselves better than anyone. With this being the case, I've begun to live in my body and exist within my mind like a child might live in the world.<br />
<br />
I don't always know how to love my body or how to sustain my mind, but I've made it my sole responsibility to listen to and learn from them. Together, they've been teaching me how to go about living in a way that is true to myself and as a result, when I am not receiving the love that I need from those around me, I can use the love I have stored within myself to carry on.<br />
<br />
Loving is not easy, but when it is accomplished, something beautiful is created and can be sustained with both diligence and care.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Complex_visionaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16897307456778068879noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958624001150067280.post-48852716030576508202018-02-28T09:43:00.000-08:002018-02-28T09:43:21.972-08:00Smell'n<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">"Yo mama ain't bathe you, child?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">You always comin over here smell’n.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">Like the
sex yo mama had</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">With you in the next room<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">Like
cigarettes and weed <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">Like Mr.
Steve <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">Makin yo mama scream <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">Like yo
mama<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">you smell
<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">Like yo
mama <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">“Child?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">You’ll be
just like <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">Just like<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">Yo mama.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">“Child, you hear me?”<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br /></div>
Complex_visionaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16897307456778068879noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958624001150067280.post-64115108081703366422018-02-01T20:25:00.000-08:002018-02-01T20:32:40.909-08:00Why are so Many Cis Men Threatened by Femme Energy?I was talking to a guy last week (we'll call him Jim) who is happily married (this will be important later). Jim was telling me how he started going to the gym with one of his friends, who happens to be a woman (we'll call her Jen). I've met Jen, she is very athletic and fit (some might even call her extremely masculine).<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicYD5Dih7U1pX33Oq_Y0zvbxjxT-D85R6IEWPmmuAMTOHrioz4a9m1rjv9jcZe1bxLCf8_p_0z7DkKtDGhTVNVW47d_D0J0G1g7U21sbmX_GiuGbpkM8sEUSY9TW-xm_qPPrQLRtAuWVu2/s1600/Photograph+Will+Took+of+Me.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="640" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicYD5Dih7U1pX33Oq_Y0zvbxjxT-D85R6IEWPmmuAMTOHrioz4a9m1rjv9jcZe1bxLCf8_p_0z7DkKtDGhTVNVW47d_D0J0G1g7U21sbmX_GiuGbpkM8sEUSY9TW-xm_qPPrQLRtAuWVu2/s320/Photograph+Will+Took+of+Me.jpg" width="212" /></a>Anyways, Jim told me that he enjoys hanging out with Jen because nothing she does is done in an effort to attract men (paraphrased version of what he said). This raised flags in my mind and I began to see where the conversation was headed (Womp! Womp!). He went on to describe things such as, her (masculine) walk, build, and outer appearance/style. At this point in our conversation, my brain began to analyze what I felt lingered beneath what he was saying. Being that I've known Jim for quite awhile (understatement), I found that I was able to connect his statements to other things I'd heard him say about women in the past.<br />
<br />
After doing so, I realized: "Holy shit! He's threatened by (women's) femme energy..."<br />
Now hear me out (or not, w.e lol)...<br />
After formulating this thought, I tried to come up with reasons why.<br />
Said reasons include:<br />
1. He's married and doesn't want to be in a situation where he may feel compelled to cheat on his wife.<br />
2. He's been manipulated by women who've used their femme energy against him (possibly on multiple different occasions).<br />
3.He doesn't like feeling like his masculinity is being challenged or tested.<br />
<br />
What really struck me was the way Jim's language did strategic work to not only highlight Jen's masculine traits, but to completely erase/ignore her femininity.<br />
<br />
I then began to think about how uncomfortable some cis men get around men who are gay. Cis men often say things like, "I don't care if the dude is gay, as long as he keeps that shit over there," meaning, "he can be gay (<i>not really though</i>), but I don't want him trying to make a move on me," (ignoring the fact that, not only is this what cis men often do to women, but the said gay man probably has zero interest in making a move on him anyways). Cis straight men who say stuff like this believe that it demonstrates just how "straight" they are when in fact, it highlight their insecurities; yet they continue to stay cloaked in toxic masculinity.<br />
<br />
I thought about Jen too. Now to be honest, I don't know all that much about her because we haven't had any in depth conversations, but she seems like a pretty dope person. To my knowledge, she is not queer. Nevertheless, she comes across as someone who is herself, unapologetically, which is probably something Jim admires about her. My thing is, if she were unapologetically femme, I don't believe he would admire her quite as much.<br />
<br />
As a queer black woman, I find that I am constantly moving along the spectrum of femininity and masculinity. I have become hyper aware of when I am exuding one at a higher frequency than the other. I feel most confident when I am radiating femme energy, reserved and to myself when I am exuding what I perceive to be masculine energy, and happiest when there is somewhat of a balance.<br />
<br />
I do not believe that one (Mas or Femme) belongs to or should be reserved for any one gender. I believe that all people have it within them to be mobile along the spectrum; the reason why most cis men don't tend to/ don't tend to think so has to do with how they are socialized. As a result, cis men fear/are threatened by femme energy both internally and externally. This in turn makes it very difficult for them to not only love themselves fully, but to fully love those in their lives who proudly embrace their femininity.<br />
<br />
xoxo<br />
YW<br />
<br />
Come for me gently. Leave a comment below so we can discuss.Complex_visionaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16897307456778068879noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958624001150067280.post-39991049201730775582018-01-29T15:19:00.000-08:002018-01-30T09:20:40.407-08:00A Dialogue: Lie Detector"Why do you do that?"<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Do what?</div>
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<br /></div>
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"You just asked me the same question you asked five minutes ago."</div>
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Did I?</div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
"Yeah"</div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
I didn't realize.</div>
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<br /></div>
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"I know. You do it all the time. I used to think you did it because you thought my first answer wasn't believable... but then I thought, 'nahhh, cuz that would mean he thinks I'm a liar or something,' and I don't think you think that."</div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
No. I don't.</div>
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<br /></div>
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"I know."</div>
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<br /></div>
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Yeah. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
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"Hmm.."</div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
What?</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
" I don't know. I'm just thinking."</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
"About?"</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
"No because you only do it with certain questions. Like, when we meet up after not seeing each other for like a couple of weeks, you'll be like, 'So how have things been?' and then I'll tell you, we'll go back and forth for a bit, and then you'll ask me the same question, but instead of saying 'things,' you'll say 'you.' I mean I know it's different, but not really yuh know?"</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Hmmm... Kinda.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
"Yeah, and then sometimes we'll be out somewhere and you'll randomly look over at me and ask, ' Are you okay?' and I'll say yeah and then a few minutes later you'll ask, 'is everything okay?' Again, I know those are not necessarily the same questions, but still."</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Yeah. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
"Maybe you do think I'm a liar."</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Maybe.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
"Anyways. What do you wanna eat?"</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Chinese.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
"Cool. Me too. I'll get the thingy in the kitchen and place the order. Veggie Egg Fu Yung, right?"</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Yeah.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
"Cool. You can pick a movie if you want."</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Kinda wanna watch The Office. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
"Okay, that works. Or maybe it doesn't, who knows?" </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
You're never gunna let this one go, huh?</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
"Nope."<br />
<br />
Cool.</div>
Complex_visionaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16897307456778068879noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958624001150067280.post-15907525341711583452018-01-07T16:24:00.000-08:002018-01-07T16:24:56.094-08:00A Dialogue: Kevin & Tiff"See? Why do you always do that?!"<br />
<br />
Do what?<br />
<br />
"That! You mumble some shit and then when I ask what you said, you say 'nothing' or 'nevermind'. Like what the fuck? Im tryna talk to you-- I'm tryna understand what's going on."<br />
<br />
I don't know.<br />
<br />
"You do know. Don't give me that; don't tell me you don't know. What is it? Are you afraid to talk to me? I don't get it. I'm here. I'm trying and you're not giving me anything."<br />
<br />
I'm tired.<br />
<br />
Now you're tired? Well I'm tired too. It's like the more I reach out, the more you pull away. What am I doing wrong?<br />
<br />
Nothing. You're perfect.<br />
<br />
"Oh please. Just stop. Don't give me that, Tiff."<br />
<br />
You are! You are, okay!? I'm not like you! I can't just say what's on my mind all the time. Half the time I don't even know what it is I'm feeling, okay? It's like I feel too much at once and I can't decipher which feeling is which or which to express first. It's exhausting, and then this happens! I love you. That's what I know, but I don't know-- I can't be like you. I can't. I can't give you--<br />
<br />
"Give me what? I'm not asking for anything, babe. I'm not asking for anything.<br />
<br />
But you are! You're asking for me; the parts of me I don't know how to give. I just--<br />
<br />
" I just want you to talk to me. You come home and you're sad and I don't know why. I don't know if something happened out in the world, at work, or if it's me . Like do you not like coming home to me anymore? Is it the dishes? Cause I know I leave em in the sink sometimes. Is it my shoes? I can work on that-- I know you hate when I forget to take em off at the door. Gosh! I want you to want this as much as I do. I'm trying here. If it's not enough-- if I'm not enough--"<br />
<br />
Oh, babe, you're more than enough. I don't care about the dishes or your shoes. That's ridiculous. I love coming home to you. I just-- I don't know-- something's off with me. Something's off. I don't know how to explain it. Like, sometimes I have these really weird thoughts--<br />
<br />
"Weird thoughts...? What kind of weird thoughts?"<br />
<br />
Bad ones. I don't know why and I never know when they'll come. They just do. Like, the other day, I was coming home from work-- I was waiting for the D train-- It was me. It was my voice.<br />
<br />
"Oh, babe, come here. Don't cry. Come come come. Breath."<br />
<br />
It told me-- it told me to jump and I saw-- I saw myself-- I saw myself do it, Kevin. I saw myself jump out in front of the train. It felt so real-- I couldn't stop crying. I couldn't stop. How was I supposed to tell you that? I just-- I didn't want you to worry. They're just thoughts. Just thoughts, but it's been happening a lot lately and I don't know why. I love you, I do. I love you so much and I don't know, I just couldn't tell you.<br />
<br />
"I love you too, babe. You know that. I just-- you don't ever have to feel a way about telling me things. I don't care how bad it is. I'm here. I love you and this-- this is important shit, Tiff. Suicidal thoughts-- they're not just thoughts. Look at me-- we are going to get through this. We are gonna get help with this, okay? It's gonna be okay. I love you. Just don't-- please don't leave me out on this one. Please.<br />
<br />
I'm sorry--<br />
<br />
"You have nothing to be sorry about. Nothing. Please don't apologize.<br />
<br />
Sorry--<br />
<br />
"Tiff--"<br />
<br />
Habit.<br />
<br />
"I know. I know. Come here. We're gonna get through this. I'll do some research in the morning. We'll find someone. There are tons of good therapists in NYC. I'll go with you if you want, or not, it's totally up to you."<br />
<br />
I'd love that.<br />
<br />
"Okay. Good. Thank you for telling me about this. I was so worried. I knew something was up, I just didn't know what. Thank you.<br />
<br />
Thank you for-- being you.<br />
<br />
"Always. I love you, Tiff. I do. I need you to know that."<br />
<br />
I know.<br />
<br />
"Good. Let's try and get some sleep."<br />
<br />
Okay.Complex_visionaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16897307456778068879noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958624001150067280.post-19050491646936988452017-11-13T20:42:00.000-08:002017-11-14T07:28:49.974-08:00Take the Woods I saw your eyes<br />
carved in the bark of a tree<br />
Your heart<br />
stitched in the throat of a breeze<br />
<br />
How comforting<br />
<br />
I had a thought:<br />
Maybe you're the me<br />
I never get to see<br />
cause I'm always looking in the mirror<br />
at distorted flesh<br />
<br />
We can never really see ourselves<br />
outside of ourselves<br />
accurately<br />
and that shit makes more sense than gravity<br />
<br />
But you<br />
when I look at you<br />
I see me<br />
<br />
And I wanna love meyou but<br />
I'm scared to<br />
<br />
I'm so desperate to give it<br />
Love<br />
I starve myself<br />
meaning I'll probably starve you too<br />
and you'll leave<br />
like I always want to<br />
This place<br />
This body<br />
These thoughts in my head<br />
that constantly ask questions full of<br />
dead<br />
ends<br />
<br />
Yet still<br />
I'm trying to make myself<br />
make sense<br />
<br />
So take the trees<br />
take the river bend<br />
take the smell of bird shit<br />
and the gas from a skunks ass<br />
<br />
You're too lovely for me to grasp<br />
<br />
Take the woods.Complex_visionaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16897307456778068879noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958624001150067280.post-72648167772229455602017-10-04T10:17:00.000-07:002017-10-04T10:17:55.621-07:00A Free Write: Grammar Mistakes and All (no stopping no erasing) Reach out into the corner<br />
where I've hid the stone<br />
<br />
I can't promise you that it'll work<br />
the stone I mean<br />
I can't promise you love<br />
or comfort or mouthfuls<br />
of empty screams @ night<br />
<br />
I might run through flames<br />
when the sunshines<br />
<br />
I might leap into the oceans<br />
spray and land ontop<br />
of my own throat<br />
<br />
Im no magician<br />
I do believe in ghousts<br />
<br />
One called me a snow flake<br />
Once cuz I melt so easily<br />
I can not tolerate hugs<br />
that harbor too much<br />
touching for too long<br />
<br />
makes me want to swim<br />
in the sea and drown<br />
in seaweed soap<br />
<br />
I don't believe in danger<br />
because every breath is a<br />
<br />
Stroke. A penny underneath<br />
a cloud. I don't remember<br />
being a child without<br />
lonely thoughts or a<br />
blankie that kept me<br />
warm. I wish I knew.<br />
<br />
Everything means nothing<br />
<br />
no matter what we do, we<br />
cant really change anything<br />
that's already been done.<br />
<br />
I think that's magic<br />
that's probably the closest<br />
we'll ever get to freedom<br />
<br />
to toleration mid drift moans<br />
and empty rooms full of<br />
clutter.<br />
<br />
I wanted that once.<br />
peace to roam beneath my<br />
feet. All I'd have to<br />
do is<br />
reach down and<br />
pluck it from a shard of<br />
melted belt buckle stones.<br />
<br />
I could be soft, but I don't<br />
know where to begin or where<br />
to throw my shoe when it<br />
moos.<br />
<br />
I hope I find stability in<br />
your left arm. In the<br />
way you lean down and<br />
kiss my knee. I hope<br />
I find you sitting<br />
beneath some old tree<br />
praying for me to sit<br />
beneath it with you.<br />
If only it could be so simple<br />
we dont know how to sit,<br />
how to count without moving our feet. we don't<br />
know how.<br />
We keep passing each other by<br />
keeping missing when we<br />
fall on the same count.<br />
<br />
We could be magnificent.<br />
We could be dead in graves<br />
and still love the wind<br />
that speaks.<br />
<br />
We could never exist and<br />
still be<br />
just fine and thats<br />
cool. I think I like<br />
that idea for what it could<br />
be. I wish I knew you<br />
a thousand yesterdays<br />
ago<br />
when I needed a friend<br />
I never knew. I wish I<br />
harbored you.<br />
I'm so greedy so empty<br />
so misfortunate.<br />
<br />Complex_visionaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16897307456778068879noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958624001150067280.post-38953507969904394702017-09-27T20:02:00.002-07:002017-09-28T10:20:51.529-07:00She Comes and Goes My feminine energy<br />
knows: stagnation is hellfire to the brain.<br />
<br />
When she leaves,<br />
she goes<br />
behind an empty space in my face;<br />
I have a hard time remembering names,<br />
forget how to identify my own pain,<br />
fill the hole in with a smile so fake<br />
it splinters.<br />
<br />
I am content with her absence<br />
(despite Lonely)<br />
scratching at the soles of my feet.<br />
<br />
Too many men have grown<br />
in me<br />
<br />
so I scramble to find her stench drenched<br />
in every place I've never been.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Complex_visionaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16897307456778068879noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958624001150067280.post-89014887378343669672017-08-26T11:12:00.002-07:002017-08-27T06:30:55.441-07:00Common Ground: E-Books vs. Hard Copy I've always loved books. I love the way they feel, smell, and sound, so much so that when I get a new book, I hold it up to my nose and shuffle the pages. If you are a book lover, you probably know what I'm talking about. It is a truly spectacular moment that you just can not experience with an electronic book.<br />
<br />
However, I finished my first ever Kindle electronic book (via the app) the other day and, I must say, at first, I didn't really know how to feel about it. The days following my completion of the e-book, every time I looked at the physical books that I brought here with me to Jamaica, I felt like a traitor. To be fair, I read <em>Animal Farm</em> by George Orwell, a book I've wanted to read for a very long time, so I felt good about finally reading it. I found the book to be extremely reminiscent of the current social and political climate in the U.S (you know, with Trump and all) so it was a very relevant read.<br />
<br />
I downloaded the Kindle app because I have Amazon Prime and with Amazon Prime, not only do you get 2 day shipping (free of charge), but you get a host of movies and shows (via Amazon Video) and a host of books (via Kindle). At first, I simply took advantage of the 2 day shipping and Amazon Video, but out of curiosity, I decided to downloaded the Kindle app. As I began browsing through all of the available books that I could potentially read for free, I couldn't resist. I decided that I would give it a try and if I didn't like it, I would delete the app and that would be that.<br />
<br />
Now, there are quite a few things that I actually really dig about the Kindle app. For example, once you download the book or books that you want to read, you don't need internet in order to access them. Even better, the app has features that give you the option to highlight and insert little notes. Not to mention, if you press down and hold your finger on a word, you are able to get the words definition and similarly, if you hold and press down on the name of a character or person mentioned, something will pop up that reminds you of the role the person or character plays within the book. I love these features because I don't always feel like googling a word I don't recognize when reading a book and sometimes (say if I'm on the train and I don't have service) it just isn't possible. Also, often times when I'm reading a book where there are lots of characters or characters within the story who happen to have similar names, I will mix them up or completely forget who is who. <br />
<br />
Since finishing <em>Animal Farm</em>, I've started reading another e-book and I've decided that I shouldn't feel weird about it. Although I love physical books, it is the act of reading that I love the most. It would be foolish of me to allow my love for one to get in the way of my love for the other. Though the contents or words within a book can be freeing, it is the act of reading that sets it in motions. Just because I read and own e-books, doesn't mean I have to trash or get rid of all of my physical books. No matter how many e-books I download and have on my phone, I will always be that person with a book in their bag. Both e-books and physical books have their limitations, but my love for reading and words has no bounds and so I officially refuse to choose between the two.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
Books I'm currently reading:</div>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuEsHG-vwzY9nNjWHj0fnYobKU4X2xskLo_Jtez0HXG-s0S4n20_FinLfxo6tDh0mcUITGirlIsbzVKuuv-wgqfKnEmaZ1OeahSV69O7DmRruZ3du03CcPxArezhyphenhyphenmYJbRFjms_WbNHKLj/s1600/KIONI2+-+9780345377449.RH%255B1%255D.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="474" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuEsHG-vwzY9nNjWHj0fnYobKU4X2xskLo_Jtez0HXG-s0S4n20_FinLfxo6tDh0mcUITGirlIsbzVKuuv-wgqfKnEmaZ1OeahSV69O7DmRruZ3du03CcPxArezhyphenhyphenmYJbRFjms_WbNHKLj/s320/KIONI2+-+9780345377449.RH%255B1%255D.jpg" width="210" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Hard Copy </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRUKd3N6udvm-bZwuHn4XQNSPgYK00i4zfihwfbPQzuEZXXBVsTc2ChvAy8JEJ3RNGEIr3Prx9LvQdLAi1Fq5nmPw1bpa-IOW-1SPrh3_yltKkBTKuppnGiSgTJGTg7HRwMXMEkosn0sOF/s1600/KIONI2+-+9780618918249_custom-s6-c30%255B1%255D.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1422" data-original-width="948" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRUKd3N6udvm-bZwuHn4XQNSPgYK00i4zfihwfbPQzuEZXXBVsTc2ChvAy8JEJ3RNGEIr3Prx9LvQdLAi1Fq5nmPw1bpa-IOW-1SPrh3_yltKkBTKuppnGiSgTJGTg7HRwMXMEkosn0sOF/s320/KIONI2+-+9780618918249_custom-s6-c30%255B1%255D.jpg" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">E-Book</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />Complex_visionaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16897307456778068879noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958624001150067280.post-55485692205747709932017-08-05T20:26:00.000-07:002017-10-11T18:03:21.885-07:00Storeys <div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 24px;">Convinced that I would never be satisfied with just one storey, </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 24px;">I begged for eight, twelve, sixteen, </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 24px;">and was devastated when I had to settle for the median of the three. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 24px;">I got twelve storeys full of human beings, hunger and greed, plots and schemes,</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: center;"> </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: center;">needles and piss, dime bags and shit, </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 16px;">and eventually t</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 16px;">he antagonistic feeling that lives would be better off without me. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">The feeling began when an eighteen-year old girl was shot in the face outside my front door; it grew persistent when an elderly woman was robbed and beaten half to death right on my third floor. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">There used to be or sometimes there are moments of peace, but they occur so infrequently. One day, I noticed how the sun rises and sets</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">— </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">warning us of the inevitable. I've never been a consequentialist, but something in me shifted. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">I heard a young boy state to his mother once, </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">“Ma, we should move.” and she replied, </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">“This is the best that we can do.” The young boy didn't</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt;"> make it to see twenty-two. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">The day after his death, I looked straight into the eye of the sun </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">and begged it to melt away my storeys, but the sun denied my request.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">I blame myself for the young man’s death, and his mother, </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">she blames me too. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">I know this because she finally took her dead son’s advice, and she moved. </span></div>
</div>
</div>
Complex_visionaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16897307456778068879noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958624001150067280.post-20284940491627228162017-07-10T18:54:00.000-07:002017-08-04T12:33:26.548-07:00The Look His eyes,<br />
squinted to some incalculable degree,<br />
tricks you into thinking that you've got something insightful to say:<br />
<br />
"What?!" is all you chuckle up.<br />
"Nothing," is his response.<br />
He smirks and continues to stare.<br />
<br />
What does this fucking look mean<br />
and why does it make you want to measure his spleen,<br />
clean his tongue to embrace the debri,<br />
carve out a space in his heart<br />
where you'd fit perfectly?<br />
<br />
The Look,<br />
looks the same on every face, but<br />
We both know you:<br />
Too afraid to stick around<br />
long enough to discover<br />
if what you believe the look to mean,<br />
is true.<br />
<br />
You always leave before they do.<br />
<br />
<br />Complex_visionaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16897307456778068879noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958624001150067280.post-84241558844977265782017-06-15T22:12:00.001-07:002017-06-18T22:57:31.737-07:00Swim<div>
my trouble is this:</div>
<div>
I desire things in which I cannot give</div>
<div>
my shortcomings<br />
the evidence<br />
<br /></div>
<div>
</div>
<div>
my past:<br />
consists of a mother <br />
and many men </div>
<div>
and how she would bend<br />
to their every whim<br />
<br />
You will drown in me<br />
so please<br />
<br />
Take yo ass back to shore<br />
and leave me be<br />
<br /></div>
Complex_visionaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16897307456778068879noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958624001150067280.post-42759471841381125322017-06-15T09:24:00.000-07:002017-08-04T12:42:19.017-07:00The Thought of Having a Kid Scares the Shit Out of Me<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVBdmRdymPCqOxm6shEd7urHWLV4lf3LfTgekF1lh0ecj6smfhHyt753C8_Y0l5CP0FGwRN2KUHATXpzRLav0wCKqj-JnDi-HAbTzUU7fKk92lyIx1NWVlhyphenhyphenjbztOzsDxcQOFjPOk2-0Jq/s1600/481305_562619190428937_299687318_n+%25281%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="540" data-original-width="720" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVBdmRdymPCqOxm6shEd7urHWLV4lf3LfTgekF1lh0ecj6smfhHyt753C8_Y0l5CP0FGwRN2KUHATXpzRLav0wCKqj-JnDi-HAbTzUU7fKk92lyIx1NWVlhyphenhyphenjbztOzsDxcQOFjPOk2-0Jq/s320/481305_562619190428937_299687318_n+%25281%2529.jpg" width="320" /></a><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
For years, I have stated to my friends and family that I don't want to ever have a kid. My reasoning has always been something like, "because I don't like kids" or, "because this world is fucked up. The first response is completely untrue, the second, partially so. I actually love kids. Kids inspire me with their wit and vision, honestly, they're pretty dope. This world <i>is</i> fucked up, but it is also full of fantabulousness and kids know this.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
However, the thought of having a kid does in fact scare the shit out of me.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I've thought about what it might be like to be a mother since I was little. I always imagined just me and my kid (in an apartment full of music and books), never a partner. When I tell folks this, they always seem so surprised, but it's true. I watched both of my parents struggle to maintain relationships with folks and so I grew up and didn't really care much for finding a partner of my own. I still struggle with this and I think I am slowly coming to terms with it.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I was raised by my mother up until the age of eleven, I would visit/see my dad on rare occasions. At the age of eleven, I moved to Florida to live with my dad and his partner (and her children) for four years and then moved back to NYC to live with my grandmother. Living with my dad and his partner was full of ups and downs. I often felt like the whole nuclear family thing was a hoax. I know it's probably not always like this, but the whole thing felt forced and unnecessary. I don't think I've ever seen a healthy functioning nuclear family situation and to be completely honest, I don't care much for the illusion of its functionality. I don't believe that a child needs a mother and a father in order to become some kind of full human being. I believe that all a child really needs is people that love them and encourage them to be the best human being that they can be.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
One of my biggest fears, in regards to having a kid, is that they'll absorb all of the shit that I struggle with (anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, etc) because I don't believe that these things will ever leave me. I also fear that my kid and I won't have a good relationship. My parents and I are not very close and sadly, they aren't/weren't very close with their parents either.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
As a kid, I was always worried about my parents, especially my mom. I have this really awful habit of biting my nails; I developed it when I was a toddler. Biting my nails is one of the many ways I tend to deal with stress and worry. It sucks. I love my parents, but often times, I find myself wishing that they were there for me in ways that I know (and now understand) that they couldn't be. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
In fact, sometimes I wish that my parents were there for themselves before they had me. However, I know that life doesn't always work out the way we think it should and that's okay. We do what we can.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
My point is, I do want to someday have a kid, but for right now, I need to work to make my world (not<i> the </i>world) a place where they will be able to befriend love and not fear it the way that I do.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I applaud folks who are out there making the nuclear family thing work. I have many friends who seem to be doing the damn thang and I am happy for them. I get that just because I don't believe in something, doesn't mean that it doesn't exist in the minds of other people.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
But, yeah, I just wanted to write this and share because a friend of mine got me thinking about it. They happen to think that I am going to someday fall in love and have the whole family, house, car, thing going on. I beg to differ, but ya never know. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
-xoxo-</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
Complex_visionaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16897307456778068879noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958624001150067280.post-44348964916741097672017-05-26T07:32:00.001-07:002017-05-26T07:32:47.165-07:00Don't Let Her Stand Alone <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEharTCVOdn_vO5FCIlnqoR2mLmppTN5vfeVanQBEnbSEOyTUr10RDoC4whoWhG2vA_dijYJxTTShq0_j5Mp-VQlspAfX08vEWVXGSBcgw3fwi0OSA4nbhJZPaAWlm9lyXsVg2rzjKGK80-1/s1600/IMG_1794.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1328" data-original-width="1541" height="170" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEharTCVOdn_vO5FCIlnqoR2mLmppTN5vfeVanQBEnbSEOyTUr10RDoC4whoWhG2vA_dijYJxTTShq0_j5Mp-VQlspAfX08vEWVXGSBcgw3fwi0OSA4nbhJZPaAWlm9lyXsVg2rzjKGK80-1/s200/IMG_1794.JPG" width="200" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
The other night, I was on the D train heading home from the city; I had my headphones on and was in my zone. However, I love to people watch and am constantly observing folks. Three people in particular happened to catch my eye not only because they were across from me, but because I could tell that there was something weird going on.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
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There was a guy, who happened to be standing beside a woman who was sitting down in the seat closest to the door (Woman A) and another woman (woman B) who was sitting a seat away from Woman A. At first, I simply assumed that Woman A and the guy standing beside her were together because they were conversing. However, I noticed that Woman B kept looking at the couple with a queer kind of interest, almost as if she were amused by their exchange (her mouth was opened and everything).</div>
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I was thoroughly confused, but I continued to observe.</div>
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Suddenly, Woman A slowly started putting on her headphones while the guy was still talking to her. This is when I realized that not only were they not together, but that she didn't even want to engage in conversation with the dude. In realizing that she was trying to ignore him, he sat next to her, which placed him right in the middle of her and Woman B. At this point, Woman B looked at the guy with disgust because now he had also invaded her space.</div>
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The guy continued to try and get Woman A's attention. He gestured for her to shake his hand, which she did, but after the first handshake, he spoke and then gestured for her to shake his hand again. The second time, she refused, but he persisted. Mind you, both of her headphones were still on, a clear sign that she wanted nothing more to do with him. Next thing I knew, the guy reached over to touch her knee. She gently pushed his hand away before he could touch her. </div>
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This is when my blood really began to boil and I told myself that if he did anything else I would step in and try and help her. Her gentle shove of his hand semi convinced me that maybe, just maybe, he would finally leave her the hell alone. In my head, I was screaming and cursing and just wanted her to get up and walk away, but I could tell that she was afraid to even move. I could also tell the guy peeped her fear and fed off of it. She stopped looking at him entirely and seemed to get smaller by the second.</div>
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In between rolling my eyes and giving him dirty looks, I began accessing him further. From what I could see, he didn't have anything on him, not even a bag; there didn't even seem to be anything in his pockets (his jeans were tight). Suddenly, he started to reach up to stroke her hair and that is when I felt my body jerk up and into action. I stood up and placed myself right in front of him and said "yo!" He looked up at me and gave a little smirk. He smelled of alcohol.</div>
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I looked at her, to assure that she knew that she wasn't alone. Immediately, a man stood beside me, looked at her and asked if she wanted him to call someone (mind you, we were in a damn tunnel). She shook her head no and then the man suggested that she change carts at the next stop. I agreed with the man and told her that that would be best because the guy was clearly intoxicated.</div>
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When we reached the stop, the man walked her over to the next cart. I stayed behind and stayed standing in front of the guy for a minute or so. He said nothing until another man came on and sat beside him. The guy then began telling the man sitting beside him some twisted version of what had just occurred. Of course, he painted me as the "angry black woman," but I was not phased because I was angry, and for good reason! I could tell that the man sitting beside him, half listening, was uncomfortable because he had his hands folded and his eyes focused straight ahead. </div>
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The guy had the nerve to wave at me and give a thumbs up as he left the train. I literally looked right through him as if he didn't even exist. I wanted to let him know that he had no real power. Like so many countless men who go around harassing women and making them feel unsafe, he was a fucking coward because as soon as folks stood with her, his bullshit ceased. </div>
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Even when he was gone, I remained standing because my blood was still boiling. A young woman, as the train approached her stop, came up to me and said that she was so glad that I had stood up and said something because she thought that no one would. I have always been extremely interested in Psychology so when she said this, I automatically thought of the psychological phenomenon called the bystander effect. This term describes or explains why folks are less likely to help someone when there are other people present. In the minds of folks watching, someone else will eventually step in, but rarely do folks believe that that person will or should be them. </div>
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I am not suggesting that we should all be willing to just recklessly throw ourselves into what could potentially become a dangerous situation. What I am suggesting is that we pay attention and lend a helping hand when it comes to stuff like this because it happens so frequently and it's disgusting. </div>
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Don't let her stand alone. She may not be able to see the way out because she is afraid and probably shook by the mere fact that she is being harassed, but if you see her exit, help make her aware of it. Letting her know that she is not alone may just help her see it for herself.Complex_visionaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16897307456778068879noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958624001150067280.post-8624460938499221412017-05-23T13:27:00.001-07:002017-05-23T15:20:59.197-07:00I've Been in My Feelings (Music)Sadly, I've gotten myself mixed up in my feelings... yes, it is true, I too am a human being. I have fallen for someone who I may never be able to be with (It's all quite ironic and glorious... even moreso if you know me and know how horrible I am when it comes to relationships and romance). I sometimes expect things from folks that they will never be able to give me, but thank goodness music has never failed me. I've been switching between a handful of songs in hopes that they will somehow help me get over said person and said feelings. I'm getting there.<br />
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*Each song is accompanied by a link so feel free to click away and have yourself a listen (especially if you've never heard the song before).<br />
I hope you are able to connect with at least one or two :) </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtjVtoZZY8iF4eQBKfzxgnSHz8GKBpnLH_cLA6ThhOCUXO_v9CBw0VroK5RXEjqI900qUYcdv2mIGQitej0v_nMXUr7F0KLXWH2TwSt1s3ZWTA2aYjVlvqF4RgS3sNTT-AjTNMpAbzw9ly/s1600/CaLskJkWAAA2sad.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="192" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtjVtoZZY8iF4eQBKfzxgnSHz8GKBpnLH_cLA6ThhOCUXO_v9CBw0VroK5RXEjqI900qUYcdv2mIGQitej0v_nMXUr7F0KLXWH2TwSt1s3ZWTA2aYjVlvqF4RgS3sNTT-AjTNMpAbzw9ly/s320/CaLskJkWAAA2sad.jpg" width="320" /></a><b>Jessie Reyez</b><span style="font-size: large;">: </span><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wxLUj1Mrars">Figures </a> And <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X7_BJveYMF4">Shutter Island</a><br />
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Reyez is an up and coming Latina (Colombiana) artist from Toronto. Her Ep is entitled, <i>Kiddo </i>(both songs are on it). She's dope. </div>
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SZA</b>: <a href="https://soundcloud.com/topdawgent/sza-love-galore-ft-travis-scott">Love Galore</a> (Ft. Travis Scott)<br />
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If you haven't listened to her EP,<i> Z, </i>you really need to getcho life and click <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nSwU57Gy8uU">here</a>. The song I'm featuring isn't on there, but you should know her stuff because her music is chill and epic at the same damn time. Okay, cool.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjnEDeuZUuI3zAfXqFM6HF1weXh1H9KQy-bJSeb9rosLGryYOUkxZY7wcKT_J5e_r0xHOdeHghMOc8RQdqnBIn7OaK3-hQkbknwoHBlBOdBXZagzASWbxJVEh470Z2K5DgBk_CBv6vqZOV/s1600/K.Flay_-358x330.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="182" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjnEDeuZUuI3zAfXqFM6HF1weXh1H9KQy-bJSeb9rosLGryYOUkxZY7wcKT_J5e_r0xHOdeHghMOc8RQdqnBIn7OaK3-hQkbknwoHBlBOdBXZagzASWbxJVEh470Z2K5DgBk_CBv6vqZOV/s200/K.Flay_-358x330.jpg" width="200" /></a><br />
<b>K.Flay: </b><a href="https://soundcloud.com/kflay/blood-in-the-cut-4">Blood in the Cut </a><b> </b><br />
I gotta thank my wonderful mentor (Rhoda) for this wonderful discovery because she played it this weekend and I fell in love, instantly. I've since listened to a few other songs by K.Flay and she is pretty dope.<br />
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<b>Kranium: </b><a href="https://soundcloud.com/kranium1/we-can-feat-tory-lanez">We Can </a>(ft. Tory Lanez) </div>
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<b>Gyptian:</b> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=57PEukh5gig">Wine Slow </a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTuXdITTytNEOYjT9ph7pK3OCg3UJnWE06ngRC0BkV3EwfGQf2e4IihWi74fUsL0kmSxCZI8oo-DS5JFbg1mXxj1LdjxTpxLGZAHqawivyMlZc21xnF8D6kA1W0ONQC-OK1z3j8fmptF5i/s1600/Gyptian-1018x755.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="237" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTuXdITTytNEOYjT9ph7pK3OCg3UJnWE06ngRC0BkV3EwfGQf2e4IihWi74fUsL0kmSxCZI8oo-DS5JFbg1mXxj1LdjxTpxLGZAHqawivyMlZc21xnF8D6kA1W0ONQC-OK1z3j8fmptF5i/s320/Gyptian-1018x755.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtW3saK9efuOynNhcbvVru81Urwqv9syA6J8Jw3vkLsKPXNA5laroNEWl7igNFpR6vgwiC-AepO78pWqE-Q-b_1jNrWJOb8_fD8vzEEU7G3vBuAUxze_GEi02CMLFawmc6hj6LsAVYGhuL/s1600/images.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtW3saK9efuOynNhcbvVru81Urwqv9syA6J8Jw3vkLsKPXNA5laroNEWl7igNFpR6vgwiC-AepO78pWqE-Q-b_1jNrWJOb8_fD8vzEEU7G3vBuAUxze_GEi02CMLFawmc6hj6LsAVYGhuL/s1600/images.jpg" /></a></div>
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<b>Halsey</b>: <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YKFGY2bGSW0">Now or Never</a> </div>
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I really dig this song (gotta stick around to hear the beat drop haha). I haven't listened to her other stuff yet, but I plan to (just to see). Fun fact: she's mixed (her father is black and her mother is white). </div>
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<b><b>Ariana Grande</b>: <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wg92RrNhB8s">One Last Time</a> </b></div>
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I usually don't rock with her like that, but this song has been helpful.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYkmU-KixM7T1CKDzRJyfQmRod96lI6mfJ7F2OCXBpB2gfYeDaiPEKBQIV8m-2l3Xqlo35TluwMNroQnLu4Q_gYcypYZGMQxB962KlE_KR5zgFP0pTH78_zOcxFgKJHCHc_BrYM5pw46kC/s1600/5PX3zFnVEzZias3X7a6mqX5o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYkmU-KixM7T1CKDzRJyfQmRod96lI6mfJ7F2OCXBpB2gfYeDaiPEKBQIV8m-2l3Xqlo35TluwMNroQnLu4Q_gYcypYZGMQxB962KlE_KR5zgFP0pTH78_zOcxFgKJHCHc_BrYM5pw46kC/s320/5PX3zFnVEzZias3X7a6mqX5o.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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<b>Labrinth</b>: <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=50VWOBi0VFs">Jealous</a></div>
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My homie (Diandra) put me on to this song and I must thank her for it because one, he/his voice is fabulous and two, this song is absolutely beautiful.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDv375kxh0zCaYxl0z9ASi3QrJjOJ9eqI7Dnz2E2Ia2yAu047rKfwmVNOb5moveqHxZZxpjmOZqBRbiBTjRzCr4zIu_ze7Wu327627nf_TdypFjisa-cMBA83bfsDDPq0M_3TVvQr9oZXp/s1600/C9257698-9459-452E-9266C3B8335CE2B0.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDv375kxh0zCaYxl0z9ASi3QrJjOJ9eqI7Dnz2E2Ia2yAu047rKfwmVNOb5moveqHxZZxpjmOZqBRbiBTjRzCr4zIu_ze7Wu327627nf_TdypFjisa-cMBA83bfsDDPq0M_3TVvQr9oZXp/s320/C9257698-9459-452E-9266C3B8335CE2B0.jpg" width="320" /></a><b>Julia Michaels</b>:<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wgNMcMwEcxs"> Issues</a></div>
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I love this song and I think she is killn the game. I really dig her live performance of this song (it sounds just like, if not better than, the recording... a lot of popstars don't got that). Not only is she a dope song-writer (shes like 24 and has written pop songs for folks like Justin Bieber, Gwen Stefani, and Britney Spears) but she has a pretty cool voice. </div>
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That's all I got for now. </div>
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-xoxo-</div>
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Yolanda </div>
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Complex_visionaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16897307456778068879noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958624001150067280.post-29743765915940754482017-05-22T18:15:00.000-07:002017-08-04T12:47:41.747-07:00Final Request Oh! black birds,<br />
do not look upon me<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">—</span><br />
buried beneath<br />
old memories.<br />
<br />
I am gripping my flesh<br />
in hopes of a quick<br />
death.Complex_visionaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16897307456778068879noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958624001150067280.post-27647155471813773542017-05-22T17:25:00.002-07:002017-05-22T17:25:55.731-07:00Ode to the Absence of you and the Presence of MeThe absence of love<br />
is how I came to be<br />
so naturally,<br />
I know not what it means.<br />
<br />
I like to taunt<br />
my emotional instability.Complex_visionaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16897307456778068879noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958624001150067280.post-4546467111324764982017-05-18T17:09:00.000-07:002017-07-19T16:18:50.038-07:00Summer Break Has Begun <table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhze3IiWkNgeTCjFp-TUHGwdgbwgDfazLrPuTocKkfloeAs54irrT-9yc5zGh_YYNDOX-Yl4bhkGse58Y3psPouu35qb5gqDcxMWpBRi216yH_jttoLAoeTXV6UrCl43-cYaC3K5OkvSeSE/s1600/IMG_1436%255B1%255D.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhze3IiWkNgeTCjFp-TUHGwdgbwgDfazLrPuTocKkfloeAs54irrT-9yc5zGh_YYNDOX-Yl4bhkGse58Y3psPouu35qb5gqDcxMWpBRi216yH_jttoLAoeTXV6UrCl43-cYaC3K5OkvSeSE/s320/IMG_1436%255B1%255D.PNG" width="177" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Me (this semester) struggling<br />
to finish a paper in time.<br />
Captured by my buddy, Rebekah. </td></tr>
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I submitted my final assignment on Tuesday morning so now I'm free.The semester was extremely stressful, not so much because of my classes, but because I was worried about securing a summer internship and struggling to figure out what I want to do once I graduate.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I have one more semester to complete at Smith College and then I am done. During the semester, I wanted to just spend time sorting out my life, which often looked like me just lying in bed, crying, and panicking about the future, if I'm being honest. I struggled to work on homework assignments because I felt frozen in place half the time. I cried more than I ever have during my time at Smith. I looked and felt like shit and even experienced some rough patches with friends. I didn't feel like I could talk to anyone about what was bothering me most--the idea that I could fail, not so much academically, but in life. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Not many people know this, but once I graduate from Smith, I cannot afford to not know what I plan to do next. The reason being, I have not been supported by either one of my parents in years and even if they wanted to help, they couldn't because they are currently still dealing with their own personal struggles. My grandmother has been generous enough to allow me to crash on her couch since my Junior year of high school. Her place has always been home, but I know that someday I'm going to have to branch out and find a place of my own. My grandmother has been trying to hold up our family for years and I can tell that she's tired. I often worry that no one else in my family notices and if they do, their actions don't show it. My point is, I cannot fail. I put a lot of pressure on myself, but I think it's necessary. </div>
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I am thankful that at Smith, I have two best friends who I know (without a doubt) love and care about me. I also have professors/advisers who I know would go out of their way to ensure that I succeed despite whatever I may be going through. Not only that, but I have people back home, family and friends, who are constantly in my mind while I struggle through numerous obstacles. The people in my life who genuinely love and care about me, give me the strength to overcome on a daily. </div>
<i><br /></i>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><b>Good News</b></i></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyGq2oQ6Cg4y3xyN7Cm-wXW5_Lh_yxpZMzDt60n7FMK-Zsjg-42kLErRh_yr2kv7v97qNgjJZaMAzjzgH7MAnUGfroYtbSzAZ-UbCV9iMF44o09maLm0IdrBpG3cLezNgtXsS5cadw6DsY/s1600/IMG_1736%255B1%255D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyGq2oQ6Cg4y3xyN7Cm-wXW5_Lh_yxpZMzDt60n7FMK-Zsjg-42kLErRh_yr2kv7v97qNgjJZaMAzjzgH7MAnUGfroYtbSzAZ-UbCV9iMF44o09maLm0IdrBpG3cLezNgtXsS5cadw6DsY/s320/IMG_1736%255B1%255D.JPG" width="179" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">NYC summer. Let's get it ;)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<ul>
<li>Towards the end of the semester, not only did I secure a summer internship, but I secured Smith College PRAXIS Funding. I will be interning at Cave Canem ("A home for black poetry") as their Productions & Communications Intern. It is an unpaid internship, but due to the Smith PRAXIS Funding, it'll be as if I am being paid to work. Even if I was unable to secure the funding, I would have still been happy to accept the position because as an Africana Studies and English double major, this is a tremendous opportunity. If you care to learn more about Cave Canem feel free to click <a href="http://cavecanempoets.org/" style="text-align: justify;">here</a><span style="text-align: justify;">. </span></li>
<li>I have decided to pursue an MFA in Creative Writing so once I graduate, that is what I will be heading off to do. I haven't applied or chosen a school yet, but I think it would be pretty dope to get into NYU's MFA Program. I spoke to my Smith academic advisors, career advisors, and a number of my Africana Studies advisors about my future plans and this is what feels right. My goal is to take the 2-3 years and work on writing a book that will center around my grandmother's life. Thanks to my special studies professor... I think I might even have a title for it. </li>
<li>This summer, I will be devoting my time and energy into thriving as an intern at Cave Canem, reading, writing, networking, exploring NYC, traveling, and working on this blog. I am very determined. I feel like I need this blog now more than ever because I am not the best when it comes to transitioning so I thinking writing and working on being consistent will be extremely helpful. </li>
</ul>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
-xoxo </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Yolanda </div>
Complex_visionaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16897307456778068879noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958624001150067280.post-74676838302891994922017-05-05T16:47:00.000-07:002017-05-18T12:47:08.578-07:00Rumination <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I've
contemplated what it might be like <b><o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">To
give up and give in because I’ve been<b><o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Shattered
bits for a time and two quarters, <b><o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">All
amidst angry ferocious waters.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Somedays
I find myself trapped in a cave</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">That I’ve mistaken for a safe haven.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I’ve
never before seen a blue feather<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Beam across a night sky nor have I seen<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">An ole owl sing and not been mesmerized by</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">The
miss-tree that is infinitely cloaked in its his-tree;</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I consistently interrogate my own vigilance.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Every
story that I have yet to write</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">Stems
from instances of intersection and digression;</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">My
mind exists somewhere between an ocean and a stream. </span></div>
Complex_visionaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16897307456778068879noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958624001150067280.post-11436657139783178672017-03-29T09:20:00.000-07:002017-05-23T13:52:50.248-07:00 Spring Break: Clothing HaulMy friend Lizette and I spent pretty much the entire Spring Break together. We met up in L.A and then drove to Las Vegas with her sister, her sister's boyfriend, and her cousin, in order to celebrate her birthday. We were in Las Vegas for the weekend and then drove back to LA. The next day, we took a day trip to Tijuana, Mexico (her sister, her, and I were the only ones that went on this little day adventure). We spent the rest of the break in L.A and then I flew to N.Y and then headed back to school. A lot of folks have wanted to hear about how each trip went, but also how I was able to afford it all. So I have decided to break it down here on my blog so that folks can get a better look at how I travel and do so affordably.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjInJzS8uJoBXBEy0nWw0eEKkoGfrbY8z1taqyKdTwHFMzegctldNgz9TK_lwzulq_GqTaik3WvfackwiJmEcRxRlbANaFPj98ot234mJ66hz4FX182OG9OKHC_wJIcuc53LbngpMbrRejX/s1600/IMG_1227%255B1%255D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjInJzS8uJoBXBEy0nWw0eEKkoGfrbY8z1taqyKdTwHFMzegctldNgz9TK_lwzulq_GqTaik3WvfackwiJmEcRxRlbANaFPj98ot234mJ66hz4FX182OG9OKHC_wJIcuc53LbngpMbrRejX/s320/IMG_1227%255B1%255D.JPG" width="179" /></a>This blogpost, as you can tell from the title, will basically be a haul of what clothes we purchased for the trip. Being that I do not own much, in terms of summer clothing, Lizette and I went shopping. However, now that I think about it, she didn't really wear much of what she bought while we were on Spring Break, so I think it's safe to say that I benefitted most from the shopping trip (haha). <br />
<br />
To start: nothing I purchased was over $10. I only shopped for what I needed and I only really needed a couple of casual dresses. I guess I can be described as being quite frugal; when it comes to shopping, I always try to spend as little as possible. If something is cute but not within my budget, it usually stays on the shelf . From my experience with traveling, the most expensive thing is usually my plane tickets (unless I purchase them way in advance, which is rare).<br />
<br />
Liz and I ended up going to the Holyoke Mall; we woke up extra early on what I believe was a Saturday morning because she had work later that afternoon.<br />
<br />
We went into stores such as: Forever21, H&M, JCPenny, and Guess, but ended up buying the majority of what we purchased from the Burlington Coat Factory (hence why everything I purchased was $10 or less). Don't sleep on Burlington, y'all.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFTBClXjTMc_ANoAD0AY7DvYy8QrzhBIR9E0HB7gYctlUfQcacyuNQijkfqCSFJ3ezJMZoAUfCkz3pxaY2KiablGncVrUWQ87c_B79HrbvJp5ag6dLX6k9TQNT3dkZ7jmwIz5oH8_jeMY1/s1600/IMG_1230%255B1%255D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFTBClXjTMc_ANoAD0AY7DvYy8QrzhBIR9E0HB7gYctlUfQcacyuNQijkfqCSFJ3ezJMZoAUfCkz3pxaY2KiablGncVrUWQ87c_B79HrbvJp5ag6dLX6k9TQNT3dkZ7jmwIz5oH8_jeMY1/s320/IMG_1230%255B1%255D.JPG" width="179" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">First dress I purchased: $8.99- BCF</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZq80MlQ7VnDe23u7QxHTXL1pOR-MNvJIxHMBnRJguy4WrsUdk2ZchUS8Wt2huySCLBNFr-CptY_dWrfidfEm2l2DZywLTk3jtnjuoAAK6QS4yBSHk2i8DFnGKOV9Vq1Kx3V_GH4qpbcMA/s1600/IMG_1231%255B1%255D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZq80MlQ7VnDe23u7QxHTXL1pOR-MNvJIxHMBnRJguy4WrsUdk2ZchUS8Wt2huySCLBNFr-CptY_dWrfidfEm2l2DZywLTk3jtnjuoAAK6QS4yBSHk2i8DFnGKOV9Vq1Kx3V_GH4qpbcMA/s320/IMG_1231%255B1%255D.JPG" width="179" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Liz: $8.99 from the BCF</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsjmvDef2cuB7PKjpdA_3YPcBfAF662TPbRhPQsXSFz2QcWKkyKwooOdDNMkUxU-x0HE-KIP_5sY7YrkWqjXw4-n81uBJf47XsD2EkmC8BW6T0Lp44Xy2eWX1889h75ps3Kd1eur7FxPYi/s1600/IMG_1234%255B1%255D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsjmvDef2cuB7PKjpdA_3YPcBfAF662TPbRhPQsXSFz2QcWKkyKwooOdDNMkUxU-x0HE-KIP_5sY7YrkWqjXw4-n81uBJf47XsD2EkmC8BW6T0Lp44Xy2eWX1889h75ps3Kd1eur7FxPYi/s320/IMG_1234%255B1%255D.JPG" width="179" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">We did a mini haul on SnapChat<br />
(hence the photo captions).<br />
Btw, if you don't already,<br />
you should follow me on the Snap</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUIUTF80gkTVPALk1LTgEIky2s2ydHS3X55H3a_kLkt2B5kR0GNTBZLEOfJXVwMRIRID_54Mvgy5_jvfgs-7krkDf6EnCPue-c1xDdYN0GZqCyJ0HRYlatgvgsiW2rDn2GRKYGO0s_j9Om/s1600/IMG_1235%255B1%255D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUIUTF80gkTVPALk1LTgEIky2s2ydHS3X55H3a_kLkt2B5kR0GNTBZLEOfJXVwMRIRID_54Mvgy5_jvfgs-7krkDf6EnCPue-c1xDdYN0GZqCyJ0HRYlatgvgsiW2rDn2GRKYGO0s_j9Om/s320/IMG_1235%255B1%255D.JPG" width="179" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">BCF: $10</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7l-OvjZLoXp9mV5_iiG6FWpiDFZBGNyJ2hWrtkbzTzfk4gm38KLCx1M9FzNv63owMa-9lGNozs0kpOfZiUjOZh2xuk7_Tt8m5jFprm4ELIxZr_WALT60KeRlHGxtF3Ybj5JGT0kYyeozu/s1600/IMG_1233%255B1%255D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="179" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7l-OvjZLoXp9mV5_iiG6FWpiDFZBGNyJ2hWrtkbzTzfk4gm38KLCx1M9FzNv63owMa-9lGNozs0kpOfZiUjOZh2xuk7_Tt8m5jFprm4ELIxZr_WALT60KeRlHGxtF3Ybj5JGT0kYyeozu/s320/IMG_1233%255B1%255D.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Babydoll Dress: BCF for $7.99</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8Uy0Uzk_PwOE_HeqgUWwOfUQaqTA_NhSyz_POfD8wiaMVVC_PACqHlSqkDUsNVlT5ZVG9mjkfn_ZOpT3ypcFTdKfWBIFYvUy8a0aItUVTSZEkQI6OFu7wT_LZBFARLulrwKXoYJA_BmUA/s1600/IMG_1232%255B1%255D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8Uy0Uzk_PwOE_HeqgUWwOfUQaqTA_NhSyz_POfD8wiaMVVC_PACqHlSqkDUsNVlT5ZVG9mjkfn_ZOpT3ypcFTdKfWBIFYvUy8a0aItUVTSZEkQI6OFu7wT_LZBFARLulrwKXoYJA_BmUA/s320/IMG_1232%255B1%255D.JPG" width="179" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I ended up selling this dress because I didn't<br />
really like it, but I got it for $10 at the BCF</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGXKiRBCpGBEVhdOcvVyGjiEAMAmVO4k_87YddIUJPNpS7D21-oR2xENLNEON1IiLdnsMQdJW1d_G4RMGcolhDXF07QdopU6fmbivyCHM9LKrSQI3YNHO4gFn21mqMfx_dwhyphenhyphenvPbDC2hwU/s1600/IMG_1236%255B1%255D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGXKiRBCpGBEVhdOcvVyGjiEAMAmVO4k_87YddIUJPNpS7D21-oR2xENLNEON1IiLdnsMQdJW1d_G4RMGcolhDXF07QdopU6fmbivyCHM9LKrSQI3YNHO4gFn21mqMfx_dwhyphenhyphenvPbDC2hwU/s320/IMG_1236%255B1%255D.JPG" width="179" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Same dress Liz was wearing in her<br />
look #3<br />
I was tired of taking photos<br />
so I just started acting silly (haha)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfG7Ax7p_W0lpQ593aFbFKiXUqaQ33Us8RsTtLILlFwLzs_ZSqT-1dEh0VeTTUX_a4I7oqYJqIvAVwpfLB4Z7szsekoKnuZU6CashliFvdyfnRisV6h4anDdOBZ5eRYLc3W2FPjflblWi_/s1600/IMG_1237%255B1%255D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfG7Ax7p_W0lpQ593aFbFKiXUqaQ33Us8RsTtLILlFwLzs_ZSqT-1dEh0VeTTUX_a4I7oqYJqIvAVwpfLB4Z7szsekoKnuZU6CashliFvdyfnRisV6h4anDdOBZ5eRYLc3W2FPjflblWi_/s320/IMG_1237%255B1%255D.JPG" width="179" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">We purchased the same dress: BCF $10<br />
I'm wearing it above (look #3)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzrEfY62xYGs4Wh32InQFbg9c06UXgEvQR40vuxpvlaOetFwln4rdLtAoR-YdkJwsI9iOGQH8SU8B0kDAX0gAPsHx4MVKK-9hkXKEPL0y59OIK6TL-YhwnyKJvohCCIhyphenhyphen1qVYEgYUs5EEI/s1600/IMG_1238%255B1%255D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzrEfY62xYGs4Wh32InQFbg9c06UXgEvQR40vuxpvlaOetFwln4rdLtAoR-YdkJwsI9iOGQH8SU8B0kDAX0gAPsHx4MVKK-9hkXKEPL0y59OIK6TL-YhwnyKJvohCCIhyphenhyphen1qVYEgYUs5EEI/s320/IMG_1238%255B1%255D.JPG" width="179" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Liz purchased this from a random store at the mall<br />
I believe it was $19.99</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCEHeURH60WNYcqhwy2W_3NX98m2hzApsT63_VKUXXq4H3l4j9uSxWz_2zqomaIu7PHydJfsAqMsfoiN4iVG1FvOcLiw_VD9_NvQVnTnWfLcB6J2sQfPZbORr-a6bUgg8XVIKbnTUuNmZt/s1600/IMG_1215%255B1%255D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCEHeURH60WNYcqhwy2W_3NX98m2hzApsT63_VKUXXq4H3l4j9uSxWz_2zqomaIu7PHydJfsAqMsfoiN4iVG1FvOcLiw_VD9_NvQVnTnWfLcB6J2sQfPZbORr-a6bUgg8XVIKbnTUuNmZt/s320/IMG_1215%255B1%255D.JPG" width="179" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">After selling the dress I didn't quite like,<br />
I ended up purchasing this dress<br />
from a girl on my campus who was selling it for $10<br />
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<b> Bonus Buys</b>:<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGOhXqYF6yjG0VyarcMhe44h0lUpUgPvBdUvNwui-OhLloFbfQCCrkMDMy66uw9pW-TdEqoDdAdl-w32VBMtgTCXGZYF-AwGdocNoyZsl_JRkmPqmYLA8P1MVyNw9Nbt79zHNaPbmTdKYo/s1600/IMG_1354%255B1%255D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGOhXqYF6yjG0VyarcMhe44h0lUpUgPvBdUvNwui-OhLloFbfQCCrkMDMy66uw9pW-TdEqoDdAdl-w32VBMtgTCXGZYF-AwGdocNoyZsl_JRkmPqmYLA8P1MVyNw9Nbt79zHNaPbmTdKYo/s320/IMG_1354%255B1%255D.JPG" width="179" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">While in L.A, I needed a pair of cute sandals.<br />
I found these when Liz and I went to a swap meet.<br />
<span style="font-size: 12.8px;">Got em for only $5</span></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnfHo6byQNAN5ctcAOxI6Cu2fjZO4cznMgzzhJTM3oM2bWPRlldmJERvANs3Lltoo9Gsty3pQoonj2H-0aZwpHybigfOwUNsJ1m-KwhMKJ7Sr7w5Kc2e_07uGPk9-PxFNYQTwqqM-PTy2t/s1600/IMG_1357%255B1%255D.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnfHo6byQNAN5ctcAOxI6Cu2fjZO4cznMgzzhJTM3oM2bWPRlldmJERvANs3Lltoo9Gsty3pQoonj2H-0aZwpHybigfOwUNsJ1m-KwhMKJ7Sr7w5Kc2e_07uGPk9-PxFNYQTwqqM-PTy2t/s320/IMG_1357%255B1%255D.PNG" width="179" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I also purchased a bathing suit top from JCPenny with a gift card that I'd had for like 5 years. The top was like 24 bucks, but honestly, I just wanted to finally get rid of the card. I received the gift card in my senior prom gift bag from high school, so yeah, mad long ago. So as it turns out, I actually did purchase something that was over ten bucks, but I would consider this to be more of a gift. </td></tr>
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If you have questions about anything spoken about here, in part one, please feel free to leave a comment below. Also, stay tuned because there is more to come. There is a lot to cover so please bare with me.<br />
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-xoxo </div>
Complex_visionaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16897307456778068879noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958624001150067280.post-16377131621346095732017-03-25T14:46:00.000-07:002017-03-26T14:03:04.252-07:00I Got Me Some Wigs I am officially the owner of two synthetic wigs, y'all!!<br />
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How it happened: One day, I was chillin in my friend Diandra's room and we just started messing around with her wigs. I tried a couple on and there was one that I knew I had to have. It was a kinky haired wig that looked really natural.</div>
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Since I have locs and I'm not one to do much with my hair, mostly because I'm not skilled in that area and I'm too lazy to take the time to learn, wigs just seem like a cool alternative. Not to mention, I'd been missing my loose natural hair so discovering this wig came at a perfect time.</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbo0UzD5b9dBIsLJ7jTY7MnpIx8uaCm78sd7lr1tUcw4UxqxE7X2E_yitA0vvk0ufinR-a_oisViU1VgZjdRCqaL54mXQLLrhfuE-cb15y5Taqq11oAY-G-geaadfiMYFGEXXql1Cw1KCj/s1600/IMG_1017%255B1%255D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbo0UzD5b9dBIsLJ7jTY7MnpIx8uaCm78sd7lr1tUcw4UxqxE7X2E_yitA0vvk0ufinR-a_oisViU1VgZjdRCqaL54mXQLLrhfuE-cb15y5Taqq11oAY-G-geaadfiMYFGEXXql1Cw1KCj/s320/IMG_1017%255B1%255D.JPG" width="256" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b style="font-size: 12.8px;">Pic that I took when I tried on my friend Diandra's wig (AKA: When I fell in love). </b></td></tr>
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My friend Diandra combed her wig out when she got it so the texture of the hair, in the picture above, is different from the one I received in the mail. I wasn't surprised because she let me know and showed me pictures before I ordered it. </div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrbGKa7C5qH6w0Hwolb79a3szyIdkZKXEunl_KGlgOq0n6g1m3fCLNlopu09Wi7Vh8VAt4T7PI44RXZX1CuIbOSA-sQuU0k9iZnoZYxMEP7beOVo2TxPVlgERP9ZGFvWjJIJ_A0DKMyrsm/s1600/AVBT4141%255B1%255D.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrbGKa7C5qH6w0Hwolb79a3szyIdkZKXEunl_KGlgOq0n6g1m3fCLNlopu09Wi7Vh8VAt4T7PI44RXZX1CuIbOSA-sQuU0k9iZnoZYxMEP7beOVo2TxPVlgERP9ZGFvWjJIJ_A0DKMyrsm/s320/AVBT4141%255B1%255D.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b>Pic of me with the wig (straight out the package)</b></td></tr>
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Wh<span style="font-size: 12.8px; text-align: center;"></span>en I first put it on, I was shocked by how full it was. Though I was excited and loved it, I should warn, that is does shed quite a bit. Also, like natural kinky (4c hair specifically) it tangles quite a bit so if you are not a fan of tangles, you might have to put in some work. However, I don't mind the tangles and the shedding all that much. Lastly, the cap is pretty roomy. My locs are not super thick but I do still have to usually plait them and then put on my wig cap before putting on the wig. It is adjustable so no worries there. Overall, I've been loving it. </div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidg8R0adfdaIkFcQxEGMP6z4dB-VoPu-Mkv6D6rZDAPFElVR2gBx8ljj7xiFa8HKaSrHNr0MuYpUUMfrrQ5dcW0tQEodjuHITRRAIuzSJ5khmkFFzI7IXdvEMOPyK0-SRY-mDBFR1X9rZU/s1600/IMG_1183%255B1%255D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidg8R0adfdaIkFcQxEGMP6z4dB-VoPu-Mkv6D6rZDAPFElVR2gBx8ljj7xiFa8HKaSrHNr0MuYpUUMfrrQ5dcW0tQEodjuHITRRAIuzSJ5khmkFFzI7IXdvEMOPyK0-SRY-mDBFR1X9rZU/s320/IMG_1183%255B1%255D.JPG" width="177" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b>Style #1</b></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirKPqzD5lqHonge6v9W0uupa5vxHNJxFYQwRSMxYNLf-pTWuZ_TcAD7eN5q-Ji_WhiMwCzphhftCyjjYEfK3t0z67A7NBGjtUzZ1BJ7sspxdOGxwW7rsZz7HUjNqCirgVrPIxP5HRKkMbG/s1600/IMG_1155%255B1%255D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirKPqzD5lqHonge6v9W0uupa5vxHNJxFYQwRSMxYNLf-pTWuZ_TcAD7eN5q-Ji_WhiMwCzphhftCyjjYEfK3t0z67A7NBGjtUzZ1BJ7sspxdOGxwW7rsZz7HUjNqCirgVrPIxP5HRKkMbG/s320/IMG_1155%255B1%255D.JPG" width="177" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b>Style #2</b><br />
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Link to where you can find it is <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Sensationnel-Empress-Lace-Front-Wig/dp/B010OMIB9U/ref=sr_1_12_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1490476086&sr=8-12&keywords=empress+lace+wig">here</a>.</div>
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I paid around $24 for the one I have and I got it in the color 1B. However, it looks like it has gone up a buck or two on Amazon, but in my opinion, that's still a steal. Also, if you have Amazon Prime, you don't have to worry about paying extra for shipping! So go on and cop you this here wig, child. </div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhENcML2wp9Uyr9tmDp4wKYLtKE6nMWJn0dKqP4OMhpaUs5R5NvLem1Cw6zbb9umvv9PMIXNKoeQgpl_DBf4TQ_UZdxlbdInJmmgFUU2nWZ4WuXIIHsh6jlwPm_OlikOhiwberd39n78mkj/s1600/IMG_1342%255B1%255D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhENcML2wp9Uyr9tmDp4wKYLtKE6nMWJn0dKqP4OMhpaUs5R5NvLem1Cw6zbb9umvv9PMIXNKoeQgpl_DBf4TQ_UZdxlbdInJmmgFUU2nWZ4WuXIIHsh6jlwPm_OlikOhiwberd39n78mkj/s320/IMG_1342%255B1%255D.JPG" width="179" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b>Bonus Pic</b></td></tr>
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Now the second wig is one that I purchased right before spring break. I didn't really end up wearing it because I was feeling the first wig way too much. The second one is a straight wig, which is probably why I wasn't feeling it as much. However, the texture is very much like that of 4c relaxed hair. It does tangle a bit, but that is an aspect that I like so I don't really mind it. The only thing that I dislike about the wig is that the lacefront is hard to work with. As a result, I had to often wear a headband because otherwise the lace would flip under and show all my business (haha). </div>
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It also sheds quite a bit and I don't really like the way it's parted. I simply deal with the shedding by not manipulating the hair too much and, as it relates to the part, I kind of just create my own part by flipping the hair here and there until I feel that it looks and feels right.</div>
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I got this wig off of Amazon as well (link <a href="https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00KYZKQ3C/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o00_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1">here</a>). I purchased it for $29.99 in the color 1B, but, like the first wig, it seems to have gone up by a few bucks. This is kind of random, but I sometimes wish that I had gotten this wig in a fun color because it is straight and I have to wear it with a headband anyways, so my edges/the color of my hair doesn't even show. Regardless, it's a pretty decent wig. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi082Zu25oqwGM9wrmizuWPi80sm2_59L8PshIRGIBGuKSx3t9hqAMc5udsqFMOma_n58sCvNr9VDAN5vTd8lLYoHO6E_03xG0bHIHkO8g2cpPjPAYBbTdH6QSmKuihQGU3RER6uUf2FqPS/s1600/IMG_1223%255B1%255D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi082Zu25oqwGM9wrmizuWPi80sm2_59L8PshIRGIBGuKSx3t9hqAMc5udsqFMOma_n58sCvNr9VDAN5vTd8lLYoHO6E_03xG0bHIHkO8g2cpPjPAYBbTdH6QSmKuihQGU3RER6uUf2FqPS/s320/IMG_1223%255B1%255D.JPG" width="179" /></a></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfInMxmdoZaiTtzrCPTunrUJ-U-qeA91tplZvSRWlVC73Xyy1AZAVtdu7zHAS8yRkwY0kb4KoN6S1HtO6yQbXTjznOkNPi-S5KUZ6otMx07Mx6UzV-BoyNodrvCl7X6sa2ERZN8apa89zY/s1600/IMG_1217%255B1%255D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfInMxmdoZaiTtzrCPTunrUJ-U-qeA91tplZvSRWlVC73Xyy1AZAVtdu7zHAS8yRkwY0kb4KoN6S1HtO6yQbXTjznOkNPi-S5KUZ6otMx07Mx6UzV-BoyNodrvCl7X6sa2ERZN8apa89zY/s320/IMG_1217%255B1%255D.JPG" width="179" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b>Wig #2</b></td></tr>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-zwaIlRJXljxf_mw_gUOaDyvk3jZ-pMTDZMe9xHG_kxfUkiFLBp9zzv9fFri8yIVp4IYn6y4IXnVmfT7ble-VqtUdXkAfUktLZ2i5VqvrzZUmBiu-74w-v3_EtmpzaPWdv1TveZHfhZFc/s1600/IMG_1214%255B1%255D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-zwaIlRJXljxf_mw_gUOaDyvk3jZ-pMTDZMe9xHG_kxfUkiFLBp9zzv9fFri8yIVp4IYn6y4IXnVmfT7ble-VqtUdXkAfUktLZ2i5VqvrzZUmBiu-74w-v3_EtmpzaPWdv1TveZHfhZFc/s320/IMG_1214%255B1%255D.JPG" width="179" /></a><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgC2Yb4DUQAqGOQR1O1gwuFSiGGWNA54F-JyGl5indEmefGiLDli0G8mqt-I9yIJFOQUFdK4r0BaOVni3eyj1Hc6c00WrA1inzpuDe50hFgbZcjcdw8ez_Ny7OJVGnmRb33AqKcieccKbBe/s1600/IMG_1018%255B1%255D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgC2Yb4DUQAqGOQR1O1gwuFSiGGWNA54F-JyGl5indEmefGiLDli0G8mqt-I9yIJFOQUFdK4r0BaOVni3eyj1Hc6c00WrA1inzpuDe50hFgbZcjcdw8ez_Ny7OJVGnmRb33AqKcieccKbBe/s320/IMG_1018%255B1%255D.JPG" width="179" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b>Bonus pic of me and my friend Diandra foolin around with her wigs.<3 b="" nbsp=""></3></b></td></tr>
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Please feel free to leave a comment and let me know what you think. Also, if you have further question, feel free to ask away. </div>
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-xoxo</div>
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Complex_visionaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16897307456778068879noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958624001150067280.post-20860199217566354132017-03-22T13:46:00.000-07:002017-03-22T13:46:34.244-07:00Danny Severance Out Here Gettin It<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVNB1Ni_kz0KqB1EApADPUIeBjzg4rez4i4oojlA9FXBrcHzH8HSVHm8ifWy_Zck-rMyhUoxoRt_Ks2iXby9LnEBhWojzbRkCg_xW0a81V8gLit4HAh9g7PKzHAvxwA3U0KxZBvBJGtHPy/s1600/C3xTeoUWIAEetUE.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVNB1Ni_kz0KqB1EApADPUIeBjzg4rez4i4oojlA9FXBrcHzH8HSVHm8ifWy_Zck-rMyhUoxoRt_Ks2iXby9LnEBhWojzbRkCg_xW0a81V8gLit4HAh9g7PKzHAvxwA3U0KxZBvBJGtHPy/s320/C3xTeoUWIAEetUE.jpg" width="222" /></a>I met Danny Severance in Brooklyn, NY at an open mic at the Street Poet's Den. I was a freshman in college and was just getting into the NYC poetry scene. I'd been invited to the event by this really awesomely sweet and smiley guy named Kevin who worked security at an Urban Outfitters near West 4th in the village.<br />
The Street Poets Den seemed to be a place where folks were unafraid to express their love and respect for the arts and it had an interesting air of community. Danny was one of the house musicians alongside members of what seemed to be his band. I was automatically impressed by his stage presence and by how free he seemed to be; he sang, he danced, he belted, and he played the shit out of his violin. His voice and stage presence stuck with me. When Danny sings, he exhibits a kind of fearlessness; he is comfortable with vulnerability in a way that gives him room to expand outward and touch his audience.<br />
I am now a senior in college and I have continued to keep up with Danny's progression as an artist.<br />
While I was on spring break, he dropped a track on soundcloud called "<a href="https://soundcloud.com/dannysev/time2go">Time to Go</a>." The track was created in collaboration with producer Charlie Scovill. It is one of many tracks that they have been working on, meaning there will be more to come.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcpz1fsu_KA8MIl6wS8jettqOQJ5QCJNt3L-cGbp-Tk03-fbILmMzyMVoVC3fgchDxwifukxmJu3zrJqBSlR_CrVAYf94x_aCXXzw3fEcjZZM0bawqgpS88QRWrBI08aGsObsA7BbzwcEj/s1600/17127289_1232734850144127_1858228582845775872_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcpz1fsu_KA8MIl6wS8jettqOQJ5QCJNt3L-cGbp-Tk03-fbILmMzyMVoVC3fgchDxwifukxmJu3zrJqBSlR_CrVAYf94x_aCXXzw3fEcjZZM0bawqgpS88QRWrBI08aGsObsA7BbzwcEj/s320/17127289_1232734850144127_1858228582845775872_n.jpg" width="320" /></a>The track is extremely melodic, almost meditative and Danny's voice flows extremely well with the instrumental. It is almost as if he is floating above a calm stream of water. There are no drastic changes in pitch or tone, which makes the song easy to simply vibe to.<br />
Though the track is smooth and Danny's vocals calm and calculated, there does indeed seem to be a battle going on underneath the surface, which I found present in the lyrics.<br />
With all the political madness currently taking place within the U.S and all over the world, it's hard not to want to checkout sometimes. I am not at all saying that this is what the song is suggesting, but there definitely seems to be some negotiating taking place between being aware of the world around you and being in tune with your own being and where you fit in in regards to all of the madness. <br />
In other words, the song seems to give one a chance to reflect on current events and question what it means to be present.<br />
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You can find Danny Severance on:<br />
<a href="https://www.instagram.com/dannyseverance/?hl=en">Instagram</a>, <a href="https://twitter.com/DannySeverance">Twitter</a>, <a href="https://www.facebook.com/dannyseverancemusic/">Facebook</a>, and <a href="https://soundcloud.com/dannysev">Soundcloud</a><br />
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If you happen to check out the song, please let me know what you think. I'm sure Danny would appreciate it as well.<br />
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xoxoComplex_visionaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16897307456778068879noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958624001150067280.post-29803422916771313942017-02-10T20:53:00.000-08:002017-02-10T20:56:10.663-08:00Artist I've Been Diggin: Khalid <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj15KvAWTVePEYuLitRYX6PsZBHc2jVTS-L4BMn6xkVs6aUdBoJIFEEZ_Umm7gZjmNbGQe-31sk1b9RCskrQl3oHFePXhvAs1Mp48fKkReUhzhrLHiU3OZOUg3xI53NhwcxBa9xWHY1_nuR/s1600/imgres.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj15KvAWTVePEYuLitRYX6PsZBHc2jVTS-L4BMn6xkVs6aUdBoJIFEEZ_Umm7gZjmNbGQe-31sk1b9RCskrQl3oHFePXhvAs1Mp48fKkReUhzhrLHiU3OZOUg3xI53NhwcxBa9xWHY1_nuR/s320/imgres.jpg" width="256" /></a></div>
The first song that I listened to by <a href="https://soundcloud.com/thegreatkhalid">Khalid</a> was "<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=by3yRdlQvzs">Location</a>" because two of my friends were conversing about it. I have to admit, I didn't really like the song when I first heard it, but it eventually grew on me. After listening to "Location" I listened to "<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FMW6YcwB1EQ">Shot Down</a>" and I was automatically sold. "Shot Down" begins with a chant like harmony that comes back later on in the song and it seems to allow Khalid's voice to transcend to a completely different level of awesomeness; his voice is both harsh and smooth on the track and he flows on the beat quite well.<br />
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I would probably describe Khalid's sound as being similar to that of <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FF8okFt4bGg">Sampha</a> and <a href="https://soundcloud.com/odiexyz">ODIE</a>, although Khalid probably falls somewhere in between the two. Nonetheless, their styles, though similar, are also distinctively different.<br />
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Most of the songs I've heard by Khalid have been about love and heartbreak, which can get cliche pretty quickly, but it seems to work for him. I also noticed that his voice has a sort of sluggish quality to it, which is something that you can either rock with or turn away from; I rock with it. I find his voice and his music to be quite soothing and in fact, for the past week or so, I've been listening to it while doing homework and other little tasks such as replying to emails.<br />
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If you happen to check his stuff out, let me know what you think in the comments section below.<br />
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--XOXO--<br />
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Other songs that I would recommend:<br />
"<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dyg32hMf7Fk">Saved</a>"<br />
"<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vAs7H_OoCeM">Coaster</a>"<br />
"<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EcmcT9oai1c">Reasons</a>"<br />
"<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9-CJrEaftKI">Let's Go</a>"<br />
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If you care to know a little bit more about Khalid: FADER did a cool little documentary about him which you can find <a href="http://www.thefader.com/2017/02/02/khalid-documentary-location-american-teen">here</a>.<br />
<br />Complex_visionaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16897307456778068879noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958624001150067280.post-62209996775188468082017-02-06T12:47:00.000-08:002017-02-06T12:48:47.078-08:00Several Mini Spiels Within a Mini Winter Break Haul<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="text-align: justify;">The semester has begun and things have been a bit hectic. I've been working hard to get settled and organized because I am taking 22 credits (again) this semester and I can't afford to let myself get behind. Not to mention, I have two big performances this month (one on Saturday and another in about three weeks). The first involves music; I am a part of an accapella group at my school and we are performing at an event for the BSA conference. The second is a play called The Vagina Monologues; I haven't had much time to devote to my lines, but after this Saturday hopefully I'll be able to dive in and have them memorized in no time. This past week I have been constantly telling myself, "Girl, you are a force," and it has been helping me stay motivated and on top of things. I have a lot to do, but I am determined to continue to pursue the things that I love while still maintaining a hold on my academic career. This blog is something that I told myself that I would try really hard to keep up with, despite my workload, and I am going to do just that. </span></div>
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<span style="text-align: justify;">So without further ado, I'd like to share some of the items I purchased and received over the winter break. </span></div>
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<b> Black Ripped Jeans and Cut out Top from Danice Clothing Store (Barclays Center Mall) </b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioDGHRnSIOq6kVOpNZp_sfK65TtUgxCiqWtD12Z2zxFpWYXcuqQCJO69I4UlgqIVLvxbpwUvDnYeaW2eNi1tpilrgEuigUZWe1Mp3jvEG62j_CeXosxe0tNd_fCuEwe7yVVb1mlBHfSU8s/s1600/IMG_0884.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioDGHRnSIOq6kVOpNZp_sfK65TtUgxCiqWtD12Z2zxFpWYXcuqQCJO69I4UlgqIVLvxbpwUvDnYeaW2eNi1tpilrgEuigUZWe1Mp3jvEG62j_CeXosxe0tNd_fCuEwe7yVVb1mlBHfSU8s/s320/IMG_0884.JPG" width="179" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAuYbUdC4uX3uj6mRxn7ZBQNWjlvZryFtyiH-t3EooZnjA2eUMMjZbKcR_T6sRvWkibEpune1oTMTLP1zJWgwqJ86SqCEytcw-2Ts13dt6L4nps0_jBQmnBzaI3K8QFHhQwndct0kdYtKo/s1600/IMG_0892%255B1%255D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAuYbUdC4uX3uj6mRxn7ZBQNWjlvZryFtyiH-t3EooZnjA2eUMMjZbKcR_T6sRvWkibEpune1oTMTLP1zJWgwqJ86SqCEytcw-2Ts13dt6L4nps0_jBQmnBzaI3K8QFHhQwndct0kdYtKo/s320/IMG_0892%255B1%255D.JPG" width="179" /></a></div>
So this is literally what I wore for New Years Eve. My friends and I decided to go out to this bar in the city and I wanted to look cute but casual. I did my makeup, wore a really awesome headwrap, and put on my all black Vans. I wanted to be as comfortable as possible so that I would be able to dance and have a good time (mission accomplished).<br />
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<span style="text-align: center;">These next few clothing items were a gift from my uncle who apparently thinks that I am going to take over the corporate world (never going to happen). He insisted that I shop for some "nice things," aka clothes deemed appropriate for interviews and such so he took me to JCPenny's. While we were out shopping I was wearing ripped jeans and a Nirvana tee so as you can imagine, I do not often wear "nice things." </span><br />
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I am currently in the middle of trying to secure a summer internship so if/when I land one, my uncle will probably be the first person I call and tell. Fwi, everything I picked out was on sale. I don't know if it's just me but whenever something is on sale, I start to wonder if everything we buy is constantly being overpriced (major possibility) and whether or not it could actually be sold for a "low-price" all the time (definitely could be). This thought frustrates me and is one of the reasons why I am not a very big shopper.</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjY-7a7UTQmcmCKNVnuovN03JmKYnrb5RaNHP1HY4XzjSSNTTBPlAzh71XzaTGCIDm19p_0HzmMgwEbCwoCKzjhfFirtxgyixC3GrIHuhG1UGM35M5aiXS1VNCH2Q6iRHdBTK0a4PYoYzZT/s1600/IMG_0886.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjY-7a7UTQmcmCKNVnuovN03JmKYnrb5RaNHP1HY4XzjSSNTTBPlAzh71XzaTGCIDm19p_0HzmMgwEbCwoCKzjhfFirtxgyixC3GrIHuhG1UGM35M5aiXS1VNCH2Q6iRHdBTK0a4PYoYzZT/s320/IMG_0886.JPG" width="179" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b>Bisou Bisou Michele Bohbot Black and Burgundy Dress </b>Size 6<br />
Originally $60 but it was sale so I got it for $22.29</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdOsQSU9HK6D7dj0zeW5J1D76zCMS1CkMoYxAj3uCuz0g90Fb3Mx5ISQDeqTDBWq4Zwsf2gb6v84fb4m5IuarIKkDnDK_2-GDnvqXv0VDBTg4DyMCyGwlRLEt24wxZXM3zXeCItk2W-h3M/s1600/IMG_0885.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdOsQSU9HK6D7dj0zeW5J1D76zCMS1CkMoYxAj3uCuz0g90Fb3Mx5ISQDeqTDBWq4Zwsf2gb6v84fb4m5IuarIKkDnDK_2-GDnvqXv0VDBTg4DyMCyGwlRLEt24wxZXM3zXeCItk2W-h3M/s320/IMG_0885.JPG" width="179" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b>Studio One New York Lace Navy Dress</b> Size 4<br />
Originally $72 but it was on sale so I got it for $26.74</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_9GHivfu4bWg6pSeoQrk1G4xqTsumyqgdy_AqsTTfW-LzE_yNjwI_IbJSNo1mliFpX49tRYHjL9IgFZwSEX9iFthycg1dJcVt2qkrlCK-U8tEcjeWJ_OZkWnIUnOlCnp9U0QSYH7bKZ2c/s1600/IMG_0887.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_9GHivfu4bWg6pSeoQrk1G4xqTsumyqgdy_AqsTTfW-LzE_yNjwI_IbJSNo1mliFpX49tRYHjL9IgFZwSEX9iFthycg1dJcVt2qkrlCK-U8tEcjeWJ_OZkWnIUnOlCnp9U0QSYH7bKZ2c/s320/IMG_0887.JPG" width="179" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b>Black Worthington Blazer</b> Size 6<br />
Originally $70 but it was on sale so I got it for $37.15</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxC_seKpIpAKZ4jBD-0x1LjLuCx2WJUD9D-MiKBf2QDDZXME3yQGiq85Skp3OscMU66zwWl3L3EfBgJR9LE0BU_f0vmVwTIv7czpBi-lEA9qLpNvlN6D3N2f7Apb7zW2sUFIX8_pMCwfqZ/s1600/IMG_0888.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxC_seKpIpAKZ4jBD-0x1LjLuCx2WJUD9D-MiKBf2QDDZXME3yQGiq85Skp3OscMU66zwWl3L3EfBgJR9LE0BU_f0vmVwTIv7czpBi-lEA9qLpNvlN6D3N2f7Apb7zW2sUFIX8_pMCwfqZ/s320/IMG_0888.JPG" width="179" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b>Liz Claiborne Ponte Casual Pants in Heather Grey and Navy Blue </b><br />
Originally $48.00 but they were on sale so I got them for $22.28 each</td></tr>
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So in looking at the original prices versus the sale prices, do you see what I mean...? It's pretty wild, but anyways, lastly, my uncle got me a new carryon bag from Marshalls: <b>Kenneth Cole Reaction 8 Wheelin Expandable Luggage Spinner Suitcase in Dark Green </b>(suggested retail price is $200, but Marshalls sold it to us for $64.49. Four years ago I purchased a Tommy Hilfiger carryon bag for only $10 so if you are looking for luggage, don't sleep on Marshalls because they just might have what you need.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxPWId3E4DKD-iUb0YZVVfTeJU8ngXilT8Bp6QQLRcHmoRpf19ifmw_aarJLvS_uSbjbGyils3MVEP3WXLClHgz6fQZwuHUXsukj_v5eIizBB2ffQP2C_0URE8m8PvdTBn6HVrw47lEMws/s1600/IMG_0878.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxPWId3E4DKD-iUb0YZVVfTeJU8ngXilT8Bp6QQLRcHmoRpf19ifmw_aarJLvS_uSbjbGyils3MVEP3WXLClHgz6fQZwuHUXsukj_v5eIizBB2ffQP2C_0URE8m8PvdTBn6HVrw47lEMws/s320/IMG_0878.JPG" width="179" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Both bags are pictured here</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigxYRlhhlqH0UQXUfYnV38fHoca3xOcYZhtQT52i5TL9RnE2tzbF6nWd3NbxulAhXh256_OBDm4LoLDLFo7YupiGbVKh3H8JnkTzsZsL-0FIxFnlx0SZHvsQCj9VuMzWRHfnSu_cx5ZCMm/s1600/Kenneth-Cole-Reaction-Luggage-Check-It-Out-Carry-on-1024x433.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="168" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigxYRlhhlqH0UQXUfYnV38fHoca3xOcYZhtQT52i5TL9RnE2tzbF6nWd3NbxulAhXh256_OBDm4LoLDLFo7YupiGbVKh3H8JnkTzsZsL-0FIxFnlx0SZHvsQCj9VuMzWRHfnSu_cx5ZCMm/s400/Kenneth-Cole-Reaction-Luggage-Check-It-Out-Carry-on-1024x433.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The carryon suitcase looks a bit like this, but it's dark green and the interior is a little different.</td></tr>
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The next two photos include things that were all gifted to me via friends and family.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVl70n6vKoSrO6k7hOVJLA1R2KWSvp7Tk5cbY0eFgbi3IQgx6HCE0D8Qw4_DLRrcx4bw6Fm0dKjzFiLeVrvO_3Qafo4D0PEOXEKX0HEQbzB_sTZNZKHX9UMQYb3fMMRCqqdrElNDaPCMfg/s1600/IMG_0927%255B1%255D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVl70n6vKoSrO6k7hOVJLA1R2KWSvp7Tk5cbY0eFgbi3IQgx6HCE0D8Qw4_DLRrcx4bw6Fm0dKjzFiLeVrvO_3Qafo4D0PEOXEKX0HEQbzB_sTZNZKHX9UMQYb3fMMRCqqdrElNDaPCMfg/s320/IMG_0927%255B1%255D.JPG" width="179" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b>Necklaces, Chokers, Earrings, etc</b> that were gifted to me by a good friend, my aunt, and my cousin</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeII17MbGq80KDY7Nm_AiLClDChPVglcijxavIqAlZquRKL7zbFulrMeuGrKwiyj8scWGtP2I7Pfrj4nKWTp4a0UM-rf_-ogQ4vn1FQ6dGj4qQJFNbyXIGyezwJm_w4Uoz9q7j7JO-yWBX/s1600/IMG_0926%255B1%255D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeII17MbGq80KDY7Nm_AiLClDChPVglcijxavIqAlZquRKL7zbFulrMeuGrKwiyj8scWGtP2I7Pfrj4nKWTp4a0UM-rf_-ogQ4vn1FQ6dGj4qQJFNbyXIGyezwJm_w4Uoz9q7j7JO-yWBX/s320/IMG_0926%255B1%255D.JPG" width="179" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The majority of the things in this picture were gifted to me by my aunt and cousin, but the moose and snowflake socks were gifted to me by my mom</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;">Last but not least, technically I did not purchase these boots (below) over the break because I got them when I got back to school, but I was so excited about them that I thought I should include them. So my school has a Facebook page where students can sell and exchange things. The day I got back to campus, someone was selling these boots for $20; I'd been looking for boots like these for quite some time. These particular boots are Cougar boots, they are usually quite pricey due their quality (they are waterproof and super warm). I looked these specific ones up online (<b>Cougar Zag Waterproof Ankle Boot Black Deertan Leather</b>) and they were priced for about $180. The person who sold them to me said that she had only worn them once (I literally could not even tell).</td></tr>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFm4DpZutR-FiajJAE8gpTEnnkL2GTCZAAkD5POTPzL0tXLZzuWC9o7jfvi2RkQAs205z5rKk5cpIie2ZBjrm4ad6Kpje_vETcoldLZw6x6fs2E4b_0t3v2-GTQCNyhylsIPNKmg8qB74w/s1600/IMG_0877.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFm4DpZutR-FiajJAE8gpTEnnkL2GTCZAAkD5POTPzL0tXLZzuWC9o7jfvi2RkQAs205z5rKk5cpIie2ZBjrm4ad6Kpje_vETcoldLZw6x6fs2E4b_0t3v2-GTQCNyhylsIPNKmg8qB74w/s320/IMG_0877.JPG" width="179" /></a></td></tr>
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I think I'll call these my $20 "miracle boots" because not only did I get them at a great price, but they are super comfortable and stylish :D </td></tr>
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Complex_visionaryhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16897307456778068879noreply@blogger.com0